We work, work, work. Early mornings. Late nights. Working through lunch. Taking care of the kids. The housework. Our jobs. (And if your kids and your home are your jobs, trust me, I truly believe that it is a full time job! While I work from home, I also have a beautiful not-yet-one-year old, and she can take more than all my time.) Life just seems to keep getting busier and busier. And in the meantime, some of the most important things fall by the wayside. Have you traded in a romantic evening recently, or even just an evening of relaxation, for either catching up or getting ahead with a work or house project?
Is the answer yes? Then let me ask you another question: was work really worth your family suffering? Is your career more important than your husband? Than romance? Than love? Is work more important than watching your baby learn to clap? Or crawl? Now, I know there are mitigating circumstances. I work, too! That is not the point, though. It is all about finding balance. Is your work life, or even your mothering life, crowding out your romantic life? Let me tell you: there is hope! Even for the chronically busy who can’t do much about their schedule. Let me show you three things you can do to up the romance factor in your life, making each of your days more beautiful.
Don’t Get Dolled Up Just for Date Night
It seems that here in the US we often think we should do all or nothing when it comes to taking care of our appearance. So for situations where we have to impress others, such as work or a business lunch or a date (date night, if you are already married), we try to look our best. However, on weekends, or just at home in general, we tend to let our collective selves go. But this shouldn’t be! As women and wives (or girlfriends) we are constantly making impressions, even if they are just the small impressions of a grumpy face before coffee and smudged makeup that we “didn’t have the time” to remove before bed.
What kind of impression do you want to constantly be making?
Don’t Think Your Identities as Wife and Mother Have to be Separate
Many women have separate identities. No, I’m not talking about split personalities or identities related with fake IDs. Instead, I’m referring to the way we separate our identities as loving and devoted moms from our identities as attractive and witty wives. Our husbands certainly don’t want to lose the woman they married, and deep down inside we don’t want to lose our identities as people who care about world news and literature and art, either.
Instead of separating your identities, turning yourself into “mom” during the day and “fascinating woman” only on date nights, let yourself be both at once. That’s right! Let yourself enjoy your interests and your passions. Let yourself have moments to yourself. Take care of yourself. You and your family will benefit – you will be happy, and you will have a lot more energy for your loved ones. Plus, your kids will benefit from seeing you as a whole woman, with interests and friends and passions. And both you and your husband will benefit from you letting yourself be a woman.
Take the Evening
Nothing can kill romance faster than working, especially working in bed. Even just sitting together in the living room watching a movie or TV show is more conducive to a happy relationship! No matter how busy your day, no matter how many demands your kids or your work (or both) have put on you during the day, the evening has to be for you and your husband. Even if you just talk. Or read together. As much as possible (and I know, there are always emergencies), your evenings need to be sacred time.
No matter how busy, you have to keep the romance alive. Life depends on it. The life of your marriage. What one small thing can you do today to nudge yourself towards keeping the fire of your romance burning brightly?